My Mom: What’s Pinterest?
Me: [screams internally]
Mom: Because I need to know how to pay them for deck lights.
Me: Mom, no. Pinterest is just a bookmarking site. You don’t buy things from Pinterest.
Mom: What’s a bookmark?
Me: [considers throwing myself down the stairs]
Mom: Anyhow, I called HGTV and they can’t seem to help me buy these lights off Pinterest so…
Me: Mom, NO!
Company christmas party 2010- laid off (yes, AT the party)
4 months pregnant - laid off again
8 months pregnant - hired (what?)
last week of unpaid maternity leave - laid off AGAIN
oh and my baby had to be tested for whooping cough yesterday so we’re at fucking DEFCON 1 over here.
[putting his hand in my back pocket]
C: WHAT? They look like jeans but they are secretly not jeans! What witchery is this?!
Just made a grocery list based solely on the 4 meals I’m making this week and there are 6 different cheeses on it.