If A, then B.

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Homegrown in Chicago. Got struck by lightning. Obsessed with guacamole. Hates socks. Compulsively swallows gum.


Email : ifathenbtumblr@gmail.com

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Mom, no.

My Mom: What’s Pinterest?

Me: [screams internally]

Mom: Because I need to know how to pay them for deck lights.

Me: Mom, no. Pinterest is just a bookmarking site. You don’t buy things from Pinterest.

Mom: What’s a bookmark?

Me: [considers throwing myself down the stairs]

Mom: Anyhow, I called HGTV and they can’t seem to help me buy these lights off Pinterest so…

Me: Mom, NO!

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But it’s okay guys! Emme is working on her modeling career because one of us has to have a job.

But it’s okay guys! Emme is working on her modeling career because one of us has to have a job.

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for those of you keeping score at home

Company christmas party 2010- laid off (yes, AT the party)

4 months pregnant - laid off again

8 months pregnant - hired (what?)

last week of unpaid maternity leave - laid off AGAIN

oh and my baby had to be tested for whooping cough yesterday so we’re at fucking DEFCON 1 over here.

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My (unpaid) maternity leave just got extended (involuntarily). Emme is excited (Sallie Mae is not)!

My (unpaid) maternity leave just got extended (involuntarily). Emme is excited (Sallie Mae is not)!

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