I am this dude every day.
(Source: beyonce)
Street festival season!
I’m calling shenanigans on this month’s Birchbox.
Sunscreen, toothpaste, and a $6 pen.
Reaching new lows and making it look easy
In the middle of my run I asked begged an elderly lady gardening in her front yard to spray me down with her hose.
I am shameless but refreshed like a mofo.
I suppose this is a semi-accurate description of me?
But also not my name.
Taco Bell breakfast waffle taco is a thing.
Stand up paddleboarding = hard. Sit down paddleboarding = me.
Look at Chris go though, that beautiful pale sea ghost.
Gwyneth Paltrow on Met Gala: "I'm Never Going Again"
The Oscar-winning actress was a little more chipper speaking about the bash with Entertainment Weekly, heaping praise on supermodel Miranda Kerr, gushing that Kerr’s sexy Michael Kors dress was “really beautiful. It was a little punk-y. She’s just so pretty, it’s abnormal.” The blonde even asked the Victoria’s Secret catwalker “‘Is it weird to be that pretty?’ And she was like, ‘No.’”
And she was like, ‘No.’
I give no shits about Gwyneth but that last tidbit in the article is killing me.
I was saving this for a special occasion and that occasion turned out to be returning to work after vacation and wanting to punch everyone in the face.
Me, this 80s bikini, crooked eyebrow arch, and high ponytail are about to fucking get it at the beach.
