If A, then B.

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Homegrown in Chicago. Got struck by lightning. Obsessed with guacamole. Hates socks. Compulsively swallows gum.

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that commercial where they slather mayonnaise on raw chicken breasts and then just pop them in the oven as if that were acceptable behavior

you are disgusting and you must be stopped.


Jinxed it!!

I dared to say last week that everything was okay. So of course today our real estate lawyer quit 4 days before closing.

So we’re going to open the champagne I bought for the closing and drink it NOW. Maybe as a vodka chaser because life is hard.